is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize