Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
