Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
