I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
