I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
