ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
