And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
