your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
