he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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