That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
