New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
