she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
