Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't make out with my wife yet
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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