U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize