I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
