I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
