She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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