Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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