you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
