I can tuck mytits in my pants
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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