I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
