is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
