Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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