Your tits are I can't wait for
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
