Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
