Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
