Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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