Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
