it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
