youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
