imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Life is so much better after having sex.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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