I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
