So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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