If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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