Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
