batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize