You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
