bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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