Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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