The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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