is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
