i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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