so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
