I got chris browned last night
I didn't shave. On purpose
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
