An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
