How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sext me about skeletons
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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