Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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