That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
