youre lurking in front of me
I'm going to jail i love you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
