I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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