READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
MIDGETS
????
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
