At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
