I am puke
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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