The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
