Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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