So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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